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| Ralphies Red Ryders | 
Date Tue Dec 12 2:18:43 p.m. ET 2006
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| Commish, Being the top seed in the Conference playoff bracket, the Red Ryders should be the home team in this weeks matchup with the Woodpecker. I need any advantage that I can get against the Woodpeckers and we all know that home field is a big deal in Fantasy Football. the ralph Owner: Ralphie's Red Ryders Rookie of the Year 2006 general badass |
| Commissioner |
Date Tue Dec 12 7:41:23 p.m. ET 2006
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| done. Good luck Mr. Mouth. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Tue Dec 12 8:34:15 p.m. ET 2006
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| You p*ssy. Both of you. By the way, Ralph, you can have "general badass", because "all-around badass" still belongs to me. Loser. |
| Commissioner |
Date Tue Dec 12 10:54:41 p.m. ET 2006
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| Last time I looked. you were in the shitbag playoffs Mr. B...... P*ssy or not, at least we're in the upper half of the league. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Wed Dec 13 9:08:46 a.m. ET 2006
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| Commissioner:> Last time I looked. you were in the shitbag Interesting point, commish... let's examine that for a moment. Let's say the Squadron is in your shitbag division, or hell, the shitbag conference in general. What are the odds I end up in the shitbag bracket? I'd still lose in the first round, but I would have been at the big dance, guaranteed. Furthermore, if you put the Mile-High Poleriders against the Squadron for 13 straight weeks... how many do you really think you would win? Well gee whiz, let's find out! 1. You = 61.9, Me = 56.3 2. You = 63.2, Me = 67.3 3. You = 80.7, Me = 107.5 4. You = 41.6, Me = 47.5 5. You = 60.4, Me = 76.4 6. You = 84.6, Me = 98.4 7. You = 62.7, Me = 79.7 8. You = 84.2, Me = 47.1 9. You = 73.3, Me = 81.5 10. You = 81.7, Me = 83.3 11. You = 60.5, Me = 68.7 12. You = 91.2, Me = 75.7 13. You = 80.7, Me = 65.8 Congratulations. You'd be 4-9 against me, and I ran most of my season missing at least one (if not both) of my top two scorers. You're awesome. |
| Mile High Hogkillers |
Date Wed Dec 13 7:25:18 p.m. ET 2006
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| You'll be the Double-Loser Queen for sure..... I'm sure if you were in the panty-waste division you'd go 13-0 against everyone.... Tough shit sherlock. See you next year. |
| The Slippery Woodpecker |
Date Tue Dec 12 10:10:41 p.m. ET 2006
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| home.... away..... neutral..... sold out fifth third arena..... backyard behind the woodshed.... afterschool by the bike rack.... woodpecker could care less. get your pink bunny suit ready cuz steve smith can't wait to take a piece out of it. if home field plays any factor, experience must also play a role. if you want the monkey, you gotta come take him from the woodpeckers' slippery strangle hold. fah ra ra ra raaaaa, ra ra ra ra. 
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| Ralphies Red Ryders |
Date Wed Dec 13 2:19:36 p.m. ET 2006
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| Very nice "Christmas Story" reference... That warms my heart. With the distinct advantage of playing at the Covington Range, the Ryders will surely extend their winning streak from 9 to 10. Remember, 2 of those 9 consecutive RRR wins were over the Woodpecker. Seems like it's high time to make it a 3 game sweep of the Ryders over the Peckers... Ralphie's Red Ryders FOREVER... Slippery Woodpecker - headin' to the Pull My Finger Bowl! |
| The Slippery Woodpecker |
Date Wed Dec 13 9:45:54 p.m. ET 2006
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| the woodpecker has a hard time getting up for the regular season, but the playoffs do perk the pecker. you'd be wise to check into the MCL history books. Buck 40 ran undefeated last year..... and was ranked maybe in the top 3 in the nation..... UNTIL squaring off with the slippery for the monkey. man does that sting or what. but you'll be there in a few days so you guys can form a club and have cookies and milk over discussions such as "i don't get it, i had a streak going until that game against the woodpecker...." we will be back with some more facts and figures after talking with our data consultant - mr. J. Barks. 
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| Dollar Fourty |
Date Thu Dec 14 8:14:27 a.m. ET 2006
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| Slippery I'm hoping for a rematch but I don't like your chances. The LT train is too hot. If there is a rematch it should be a good one. I think it helps a lot that we're not playing in the last week of the regular NFL season. The whole fantasy world changes in the last week. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Thu Dec 14 12:34:53 p.m. ET 2006
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| Hey... if you're gonna talk shit, better be prepared to face the thunder. I don't wanna hear a damn PEEP out of anyone out of Conference NAIA Division 2 over there. The Imperial was STACKED. No two ways about it. At any rate... I think the LT train will slow down. He's got the TD record and the Chargers have almost wrapped up the playoff scenario. I'll bet anything that LT sees fewer and fewer carries as the season winds down. I think Ralphie-boy is going to have to lean on Gore down the stretch and hope that Garcia is the Second Coming. |
| MarieMount Mutt Devils |
Date Thu Dec 14 2:35:34 p.m. ET 2006
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| Survival Squadron:> The Imperial was STACKED. I'll vouch for that. I was 0-5 against the Imperials and 6-3 against everyone else. |
| Ralphies Red Ryders |
Date Thu Dec 14 4:32:39 p.m. ET 2006
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| "Conference NAIA Division 2" - that's some damn funny shit, JB... I laughed out loud when I read that. |
| Commissioner |
Date Thu Dec 14 8:24:37 p.m. ET 2006
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| # of NAIA Division 2 teams in the Monkey Bowl - 1 # of Squadron in the Monkey Bowl Bracket - 0 nuff said.... now go play with those half naked price hill girls you've been braggin about.... Oh, and don't forget to give them their dentures back when you're finished with them..... |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Fri Dec 15 12:08:08 a.m. ET 2006
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| Squadron: 9 Hogs: 4 And you know what's even worse? I'm the last place team in my division and you're in the Monkey Tourney, Talk smack when you have a team that compares. You're so far down there it's comical. Your entire conference is inferior and you know it. For the record, I'm not bitching about the rules... I agree with the system. It didn't work out that the best teams are playing for the Monkey, but there are teams in the AFC that won't make the NFL playoffs this year that are clearly better than NFC teams that will. Sometimes that's just how it goes. I'm banking on getting beat by Patek so I can win the one game that I have a chance at getting a payout for. One way or another, I'm getting some cash. So far, Hasselbeck's performance is putting me in the driver's seat for a loss. |
| Dollar Fourty |
Date Fri Dec 15 8:04:04 a.m. ET 2006
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| Barker I expect better of you. You can go ahead and make fun of the HogKillers and the rest of the division as much as you want but our entire conference is not crap. Why don't we do your favorite thing and whine about if your team played my team: WK1 69.4 - 56.3 $1.40 Wk2 70.8 - 67.3 $1.40 Wk3 62.6 - 107.5 SS WK4 71.9 - 47.5 $1.40 wk5 67.8 - 76.4 SS WK6 76.2 - 98.4 SS wk7 84.9 - 79.7 $1.40 WK8 80.6 - 47.1 $1.40 WK9 93.2 - 81.5 $1.40 WK10 64.9 - 83.3 SS WK11 64.5 - 68.7 SS WK12 100.5 - 75.7 $1.40 WK13 90.2 - 65.8 $1.40 WK14 121.8 - 83.1 $1.40 Congratulations you'd be 5-9. Right now $1.40 is the second best team in the league. Hopefully by the end of the season I'll have the best team in the league. Is my record a little better because my division is weaker, probably. It doesn't matter I still would have made the playoffs with a few more losses. We play this game because nothing is certain. Mitchapalooza drafted a good team. Nobody could have predicted the slow start of Rudi Johnson and the absolute horridness of Ben Worthlessberger. If Donovan McNabb had stayed healthy it probably would have been the Parma Heights Planograms in the playoffs instead of the HogKillers. The PHP went from having a 20 point a game QB to Charlie Frye. Stuff happens. The HogKillers were another team hurt by the Bengals playing bad early. If the Carson Palmer from last year played the Killers would be 13-0. Congratulations your conference had a little better luck this season. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Fri Dec 15 9:08:31 a.m. ET 2006
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| Exactly, you're the second best team in the league... so why would you even stack your team against mine? That would make sense if I was running my mouth about how YOU didn't make the playoffs... but (1) you are in the playoffs and (2) I wasn't talking shit. So what is your point? Your team is better than mine? Nice work. I really needed the quantitative analysis to put that one together. So your conference has one solid representative. What about the rest? I'm going to take a second and recap my point, since it seems to be skipping by some of you: Hogs say "Ha, ha... I'm in the playoffs and you're not, and you suck." Squadron says "Whatever, bitch... my team is better than yours and I'll prove it." Squadron proves it. Squadron proposes that Hogs' entire conference is crap. Squadron need not prove it, since it is a law of physics. Game over. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Sun Dec 17 5:28:01 p.m. ET 2006
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| Wow, Flick. I totally stand corrected. After seeing the firepower displayed in your game with the Frogs, I can see that your conference really get an unfair reputation. I mean, when you look at RRR and the Peckers they just pale in comparison. |
| MarieMount Mutt Devils |
Date Mon Dec 18 8:39:26 a.m. ET 2006
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| C'mon. Jeremy, it is pretty obvious what you are missing. They just play better defense over there in the black-and-blue division. Look for several of their defensive coordinators to be hired as head coaches over on our side next year and we will be having those 40-20 defensive struggles, too. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Mon Dec 18 9:14:48 a.m. ET 2006
Edited Mon Dec 18 9:17:14 a.m. ET 2006
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|  Yeah - imagine how good the Bengals defense would look if they played the Raiders every week. I mean, I know the Tweedledee is strong because I'd have one hell of a time overcoming those point totals in the high teens. Twice.  I'm still pissed that Patek's suck-ass team didn't step up and beat me. He had every chance in the world - down 30 points with Leinart and Rod Smith to play... oh wait... maybe not. I really wanted to be in the "not the worst" game so I could at least offset my fines with the $14.50. Thanks for nothing, Patek. Now if there's any justice in this world you'll lose again next week and make official what we all already know. Well... Ralphie boy, you need exactly 21 points from Housh and Fletcher tonight. Good luck, you're gonna need it. Both of those boys are going to have to hit paydirt. Too bad you didn't start Garcia or you'd be Monkey-bowling for sure. |
| Ralphies Red Ryders |
Date Mon Dec 18 11:18:11 a.m. ET 2006
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| Say it aint so, the Slimy Peckers have RRR on the ropes... Rivers gave me a stellar negative point total. Plus, the Charger O faltered twice inside the 10 and settled for chip shot field goals... very uncharacteristic of San Diego this year... But there is still hope for everybody's favorite fantasy team and owner... The game tonight should be pretty high scoring - so I just need TJ to find the endzone a few times. I will be at the game with a tally sheet (and beers) in hand - trying to determine if the RRR and the beloved Bengals can pull out big victories... Ohhh, to be in the NAIA Division 2 conference - where my 85 points would have resulted in a serious thrashing of the opposition. |
| MarieMount Mutt Devils |
Date Mon Dec 18 11:32:08 a.m. ET 2006
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| Ralphies Red Ryders:> You'd have beaten them both ... combined. |
| Dollar Fourty |
Date Mon Dec 18 12:18:14 p.m. ET 2006
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| my game with the frogs is not over. please hold comments till tomorrow to avoid looking like a dumbass. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Mon Dec 18 12:34:56 p.m. ET 2006
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| Good point, Flick. When Vinatieri chips in his typical 35 to 40 points, the Frogs will represent like we all know they can. Granted, Baker might put up a few points tonight, but come on... TWO teams in the CMB bracket that could potentially finish under 40? Wow, dude. Powerful. I finished under 50 once and wanted to quit - my only saving grace was that I still somehow managed to undeservedly win. NAIA Div. II Conference bringing the thunder. You better win it all, Flick. You're the only hope for a fledgling conference. Boise State, anyone? |
| Commissioner |
Date Tue Dec 19 12:04:18 a.m. ET 2006
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| too late for our boy.... dumbass factor unavoidable... SO, its a rematch of 2005 - how painful it would be if mr. chump change was once again a bride's maid. but who cares, he's going to be $150 richer anyway. |
| Survival Squadron |
Date Tue Dec 19 12:26:33 p.m. ET 2006
Edited Tue Dec 19 12:29:27 p.m. ET 2006
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| I'm not sure how being right makes me a dumbass, but maybe that works in your thin-air logic, Baker. But hey - I'd be salty too if my team couldn't break 40. Must be a Baker thing this week. Speaking of that... the FROGS will end up in 4th place?! What?!? Ralph could beat that team with Tomlinson! Oh wait... he did! |