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| By MIDWEST COLLISION LEAGUE Commissioner on Tue Nov 15 8:23:46 p.m. ET 2005 |
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| Congrats to Dollar Fourty and Mt. Walshington, both of whom have clinched the regular season division titles for 2005. If the Squadron beats the Peckers, then they will clinch the regular season divisional title. A Warriors victory, coupled with a Redhead loss will assure old man Schuster a division title as well. |
| By Survival Squadron on Fri Nov 11 9:21:33 a.m. ET 2005 | ||
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Latest intelligence briefing from the SSIA: Upon release of this week's TWIFF notes, a wave of anger tore through the Survival Squadron camp. The printing of a mis-quote by the Commander-In-Chief, an MCL reporter suggested the team should "relocate to Liberty Hill or Northside". What's the subtext here? Bitterness? Jealousy? Oh, let's examine, shall we? The same MCL reporter was spotted snooping around the GhettoDome practice facility after the Squadron's crushing defeat of the SmackerZ... with the HOT CHICKS in tow. The hotties were on record saying "We don't want Unkle Keef any more, we need someone who can... 'perform under pressure', you know what I mean?" I am not at liberty to discuss what happened throughout the week since it has been deemed "classified", but I can tell you the Squadron will be "clear-minded" for their upcoming matchup with the Taco Trustees. The MCL reporter, known to have strong ties with the Pig-men, was obviously upset the the Hogs would no longer have a chance with the hotties. Is it a coincidence that now the MCL is trying to label the Squadron as a switch-hitting crew? I think not. You do the math. Apparently Fox News isn't the only reporting outlet that knows how to put a spin on things. Watch it, Hogs. You got a long way to climb before you can even see the tread of our boots. Squadron OUT. |
| By Wilting Frogs on Tue Nov 1 5:40:57 p.m. ET 2005 |
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| Bret Farves coach, "Frenchie Boulanger" of the Limp Frogs franchise admits that the planned "trick play" during the last minute of the contest on Sunday was not well executed. We had secretly drafted Gregory Hall from the Mt. Washington "Devils" . We noticed that while he had a basic understanding of the playbook, his adiction to " likker" often impaired his basic motor skills. Farve had asked us to draft his cousin, indicating that it was his life-long goal to play pro ball. While we explained that our overall team results "sucked", and as a favor to our team leader, we proceeded to aquire Mr hall and he agreeded to suit up for one critical play. That play transpired during the last minute of the contest. Our intention was to confuse the refs and have our new running back come in motion and grab the ball running off the right end. Unfortunately he got drunk doing "shots" with some of the porker flag team members from the half time band show. Got lucky with "Wanda" (a 325 pound flag bearer and fired head cheerleader of the "Hogkillers" ) who patted him down as he got up !After being locked in copulation, requiring security to hose them apart. He was so @#$%"*-up, he lost his way to the locker room, forgot to suit up, fell over the wall and ran the wrong fricgin way. Than they arrested the poor bastard. Oh, well!! best laid plans.................Comissioner and coach of the "Hogsuckers" suggested that I trade him to another franchise in a dual week trade off. I said "na" , I don't want to be accused of "confusion" >>>>>>>> |
| By MIDWEST COLLISION LEAGUE Commissioner on Tue Nov 1 12:39:57 p.m. ET 2005 | ||
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After starting their quest for the Coconut Monkey Bowl in the bowels of OTR on a grass lot, complete with armed guards, rooftop snipers and a strong police presence, the Survival Squadron has found themselves in brand new digs. Their winning ways have prompted an emergency City Council measure involving some Section-8 re-structuring, freeing up acres of real estate and enough funds to build a new state-of-the-art compound, furnished with retinal scanners, card-readers, and integral defense mechanisms. Known for their resilience and squeaking out tough victories, this new facility embodies the spirit that is the Squadron. The Commander-In-Chief, known only as "JBARX" was quoted as saying "If you thought we were tough before, wait until you see this beast. Opposing teams will be lucky if they can even make it onto the playing surface. If the ghetto doesn't get you, our superior fortress will." When later asked about the performance of the MCL juggernaut and nationally top-ten-ranked Dollar Fourty, the shifty, anxious, obviously intoxicated and fired-up leader remarked "I don't fear spare change. Let's see them put up 100 points in my house. The Limp Toads tried it and we smacked their flaccid asses back to the 'Wood. The only reason the Scally Mafia beat us was that they ambushed our supply lines of liquor. 10-game winning streaks? We leave 'em up in smoke. I don't care what you try to bring me... Lubed-up Peckers, Fighting Choir-Boy Molesters... I'm dropping bombs. 16th pick, underestimated from day one, and I'm still pissed off with an axe to grind. You trying to tell me Buck Fourty Flick is better? I've been drinking, bitch! You wanna fight? Fire in the hole!" God help us all. -from Survival Squadron President J. Barker |
| By MIDWEST COLLISION LEAGUE Commissioner on Sun Oct 30 4:44:34 p.m. ET 2005 |
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| GO TO THIS WEBPAGE FOR INFORMATION ABOUT OPTIONAL NEW UPGRADE TO KEEP TRACK OF LIVE SCORING (YES, FOR YOU TOM TOM) http://sidelineleagues.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12768 |
| By MIDWEST COLLISION LEAGUE Commissioner on Sat Oct 29 10:37:51 a.m. ET 2005 | ||
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| By MIDWEST COLLISION LEAGUE Commissioner on Sat Oct 15 11:03:45 a.m. ET 2005 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| By Queen City Hogkillers on Sat Oct 8 11:58:25 p.m. ET 2005 | ||
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The MCL office is pleased to announce the award of the first 2006 expansion franchise to the "Circle City Jerks". More information is to follow about the team, and its mysterious ownership group. |
